“You are a woman, you make the compromises”
I have been given this advice enough number of times. I have seen most women making compromises for their spouses. It could be their career, their dream city to live, their desire to have a nuclear family rather than a joint one etc. Men can just come back from work & laze around watching TV. But even if a woman works she is expected to double up as a housewife when she comes home. And when kids come into the picture the word fun will be forgotten.
Compromise is really about meeting halfway. Men probably go 1/4th of the way and women have to make the rest 3/4th. So it always makes me wonder why do women make that extra effort? The answer is simple. I have always asked the women I know why they have to go through all this. They say that their husbands may sometimes act as assholes but they love & support them when they really need it. They are always concerned even when they are angry with their wives. Yes, men do have their big egos, all of them do, no exceptions. But underneath all that they do care. Some men say it, some men show it. But that is enough for a woman to make 3/4th of the way. I mean seriously why do men find it so hard to understand!
But what if those compromises mean nothing? What if the person you love doesn’t care a damn about the things you give up? What if they take you for granted? Unrequited love is never worth the compromise you make. And the worst part is waiting for that person to change. Waiting for the person to trust you. You could waste years of your precious life trying to get him to love you & fail. He may only see you as someone who his parents wanted him to marry. Waiting for such a person to change is not worth your freedom after all. What if I have married such a man? What if I go all the way & still not be loved? I would be shattered to my core. But probably I would emerge stronger than I ever was. Maybe I needed such an undeserving man to find my true strength. Only time will tell.