Love

Such a short word, but such a complicated meaning. Some kinds of love, we are so sure of. Like how much I love my parents. But sometimes you just don’t know. I had fallen in love with the idea of love. And that was such a stupid thing to do. I had fantasies in my head not knowing once that my reality was something else. It hit me one day that what I thought was love, was just a business transaction called marriage. I realised that I hardly knew him. I knew only the bright & happy version of him in my fantasies. And reality was quite dark & scary. But still I never gave up in the hope that I can turn things around. I put up with things that I would never have in my right mind. I was scared of him. I was scared of his parents. And I lived in that fear for what felt like forever. But there was a point beyond which I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to exist anymore. This is when I told my parents everything.

Yes, the biggest mistake I did was keep my parents out of this. I didn’t want to worry them (like the typical Indian girl). The moment I told them how I was being treated they brought me back to my senses. I realised, what was the point living in fear. You grow up seeing women who tolerate humiliation & abuse & think it will all go away one day. No-one questions – Who are they to hurt me? Thankfully I got rid of those monsters from my life & I couldn’t be happier.

At the end of it all I realised that love is no fantasy.